The Evolution of Me

5am to be exact. i have yet to fall asleep for the nite. just gettin in from a random nite with my roomies. not to worry. i was on my best behavior. idk. i feel like no matter how hard to try to be an experimentalist, the more i find myself unhappy that i engaged in the first place. its just not my personality do sum things u kno. smoking is def not apart of me. sexing isnt me either. i have tried the whole drinking thing but thats not really for me either. the times that i have dont it. it was to escape. escape from the feelings i hold inside. the pressures of school, issues at home, issues within myself. a few drinks erases all of that, if only for just a few hrs. but i dont wanna be that girl. i will NOT be that girl. i need sumone to keep me accountable. its not that im weak or that i fall to peer pressure or anything cuz i kno i can say no. i have done it sooooo many times before. its just that i sumtimes i wanna get away and i have no where to go. no body to turn to. part of which is my fault because i dont people in but its also not my personality to be all on the scene and with a rack of people.

So anyways. its not that im tryna be holier than thou or that i think im better than people who do engage in these activities. i just wanna be tru to myself and who i am. i need to deal with my problems instead of finding ways to avoid them. anybody wanna volunteer to keep me accountable??? lol

one day at a time, one breath as a time
♥ Morgo

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