I think Im bi polar or schizophrenic..
more details to come...
Ok im back.. sooo I feel like there are 2 of me inside of the one me.. (well if the ppl didnt thin u were crazy before they do now..) But no seriously folks. There are atleast 2 of me, maybe more. a few months ago my mom joked about the different me and she asked which me she was talking to but no joke this is square biz...
One part of me is smart and intelligent, the other part of my is ji off the hook. Her latest tirade is tryna convince me that im fat and that i shouldnt eat so that i can lose weight. She keeps bringin up how my jeans are fitting a bit snug, and how my fathers side of the family is on the heftier side and how quite a few ppl have made mention to me developing curves. But the smart me is like umm im no where near fat and im too smart to have an eating disorder. Ive been goin back n forth with this for a while and hopefully the more logical part of me will win. But hey, if i lose a couple of lbs, i wouldnt even be mad.
I honestly think its more of a control issue. Soo many things are beyond my control but the one thing that all up to me is whether or not I eat. I try to be good and eat atleast twice a day. Most days I only average once. Some days I managed to snack my way thru without eating at all. Smart me knows that not eating will slow down my metabolism and dumb me is sayin not eating will lose the weight quicker. I would just do the whole bulimia thing but I hate throwin up, cuz it always manages to come out my nose and smellin URL all day is not my idea of a good move.
OMG. I am seriously writing this. Is this a cry for help for just a way to get it out? I cant really tell any of my friends cuz they will all just tell me to shut up or laugh it off.. but seriously.. i really have these thoughts in my head.. as long as their just thoughts and not actions its ok right?
Right?
Hmm.. marinate of on that and TTyl.
Morgo 1.5?
