Blah Blah and Woo Woo Woo
I kno it has been eons since I have written. Forgive me. I have not forgotten my 3 followers (hopefully more than 3 ppl read this but if they dont... i aint trippin) Anywho. Soo much as happened lately. This could probably go down as the longest blog in history cuz I am about to catch u up on the blasphemy I call my life.
1. School is back in session. Officially!!!! This is the middle of the 3rd week. SO far everything is cool. I seem to be able to balance my workload well and have not stressed or cried (yet). I am really considering studying abroad. I keep seeing these signs all over campus and in my email and each time I feel like GOD is tellin me that this is something I need to do. But it does cost $$ and I aint got it. Plus I dont think I would fair well in another country with ppl I dont kno and may not like and being soo far away from my mother.
2. My part time job is..... a part time job. Pretty much all I do in answer calls as they come in and transfer them to the person of their request or to a sales rep. The ppl seem to be ok. There was a couple of issues when I felt like the ppl there were talking down to me becuz I was 1. the new girl and 2. because I am the youngest person in there but it seems to be ok. I hate when the phones get really busy because I dotn get a chance to do my hw like I want to. And we all kno my schoolwork is my #1 priority. I get my first check tomoro so I will let u kno if I feel like its worth it. Cuz i will quit.. ok maybe not.
3. Guess who popped out the freakin wood works... Yep. Rico. I try to keep my distance from him and his calls. He is no good for me. We both kno it. But its like people who are lactose intolerant. They still drink the milk even tho its gonna make them sick. Sigh. Pray that I keep my wisdom about me and dont go over there because I am feeling a lil sad and lonely.. which you will understand y as I keep writing.
4. I am pondering dropping out of my school's fashion show. I know... quitters never win and winners never quit but I just cant seem to shake this feeling that its not for me. I literally dread having to go to practice and often times I leave feeling upset that I went. Its a mess. I do like modeling but right now it doesnt excite me. Everyone else is so lively, excited to be at practice, doing tricks and flips. Not me. Then we add on the aspect that I have to work. So one the days when I have practice my days are extra long, I be soo tired which makes me hate practice even more. I cant really say its me working tho because I have felt this way since last semester and I did not have a job then. The only reason I hung in there this long is because my roommate is one of the coordinators and I wanted to support her but ummm this really isnt working. I feel like Im wasting both their time and mine.
5. I love my roommates but geesh. As of lately they well atleast some of their undesirable habits are really bothering me. I wont go into detail but some days I just have to go straight in my room and be by myself the entire night because I dont wanna snap or say something rude just because I am in my moods. I have never really had to live with anyone but my momma she gets me and I get her. So living with other ppl is a big change for me and lately things around here are driving me crazy. It could just be the mood I am in right now (that has lasted about 2-3 weeks now) so who knows....
6. I asked Mickey to be my Valentine.. He replied No I Will Not Be Your Valentine. Sigh. It hurt but not as much as I thought it would because I was kinda already expectin him to say no. I also asked my dad to be my valentine and to come visit me on sat so we could have lunch together. He also told me no. That hurt... waay more than I will ever admit to him but I did tell my mom. I called her to comfort me as I was crying. Its like I dont think I will ever be good enough for that man. When will he see what a great person I am and want to get to know me and spend time with me???? I guess the answer to that is never. Sigh.
7. My hair is having major issues. Its dry, flaky, and shedding like crazy. Since October i have been going to the Dominicans to get it Blown Out. It was working well for me and I had a bit of growth but since winter break I have been having issues. I did finally get a trim. And then another trim to fix the bad trim I had received the first time. Now I look like I bald head scally wag... smh. Oh well. the loss of hair is only the beginning of what I hope to lose.
8. The restlessness in my is back again. I feel incomplete. I feel unhappy and unsettled. I am having lots of trouble sleeping and have started to develop bags under my eyes.. NOT SEXY! I need to get back in church and have the Word fed to me on a more regular basis. I need to focus on God first and maybe the rest of my issues will slowly but surely be resolved.
See I told u this was gonna be a long one. I have more stuff I coulda put in there but I am gettin tired of typing.. sheesh. So until later.. Live a life worth living!
