Truthful Tuesday
1. I like JR. He's sweet. He makes me smile and its nice to talk to him. I like how he asks me about my day and seems really interested. I like he asks me about school, my studies, my exams, my mom. He seems to genuinely be interested in me. And its refreshing. Dare I say I Like him tho?
2. I think I may actually like my stalker!?!?!? Man IDK. This is news to me. But in the midst of sheer boredom between my 2 dates I went to visit him. We just chilled. It was great to just hang. No pressure of tryin to impress him. I was myself and he was himself and it was chill. He didnt try to kiss me (well he did kiss me cheek as I was leavin) but other than that he didnt cross any lines.
U must understand that this is a huge feat for us. Because there have been times when I couldnt stand him. Like the thought of him would make me annoyed. But things seem different now. IDK if its because he has changed or because I have changed. How did I come to this revelation??
Last nite, Cleotis told me that he wanted me to stop talkin to JR. At first I got mad but now I am confused. Like Cleotis has been around forever. And despite the fact that he gets on my everlastin, we do have this sick twisted friendship. I dont wanna hurt him but I dont see a real reason to stop talkin to JR. JR has done nothin to me and I kinda like him. SO who do I choose? I told him that I wouldnt choose between them and that if he felt that way, the only fair option would be for me to stop talkin to both of them. Cleotis took back everything he said once I mentioned this, he said that he would rather have me talkin to both of them than not have me at all.
Life is so ironic. I just dont know whats the right thing to do or what it is that I really want. Im not in the market for a real "boyfriend / girlfriend" relationship at this moment. I just wanna live my life. I feel like JR could be sumone I would like to kick it with but I see it going nowhere longterm. And Cleotis, I see him being around for the rest of my life whether I ask him to be or not.... So who do I choose?
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